He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
