I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
