i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
