Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize