did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
