White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
