Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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