my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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