...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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