i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
