i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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