you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
