Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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