try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
