Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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