I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
