i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We have so much sex to catch up on
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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