Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just took my morning after pill in the library
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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