carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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