We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
