ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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