I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just invented taco cereal.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Come share oat with me in your robe
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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