so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
