that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
