Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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