just come out here and I will go home with you...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
