ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
