Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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