yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
