Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
She's JV to your varsity
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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