Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
