Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
