Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
