There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
NoShamevember. You game?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize