dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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