PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize