You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
