Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
