i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize