i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
