I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize