Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize