Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
