office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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