I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
