Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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