If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
