Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
