During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Two words: blizzard sex
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
