oh god the rape fog is back!
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
