So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
His hands were made for my vagina.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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