I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
