My friends, they love my intelligence
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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