What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize