Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
