Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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