his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
