what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
