how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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