Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
