But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
