Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
