the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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