this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
