WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
and eventually we just all took our pants off
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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